By Joshua Freedman – CEO & cofounder of 6seconds.org
Have you heard that happy employees drive business success? Data suggests happy employees are more productive, more engaged, and more loyal. As a result, some businesses push for happiness – but when it’s done in a superficial way, the efforts curdle and turns into Toxic Positivity. It’s important for managers to better understand toxic positivity so they can address this phenomenon and support their teams effectively.
What is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic Positivity means dismissing challenging emotions and responding to distress with false assurances rather than empathy. Social media is rife with these kinds of messages, such as, “All you need to do is be positive,” or “Winners never quit.” In a team meeting, a manager might contribute to toxic positivity by saying, “we need people to be positive,” or even, “stop telling me about problems, I want solutions.”
While these messages might sound affirming, they tell people to fake happiness. Toxic Positive is harmful because it implies that experiencing human emotions (beyond happiness) is somehow wrong. In the workplace, rather than reaping the benefits of happiness, toxic positivity de-motivates and disengages people by creating inauthentic relationships. The result is actually greater stress and a loss of trust which leads to a loss of motivation.
How Toxic Positivity Undermines Workplace Performance
Recent research finds 48% of employees report staying awake at night due to work-related stress, and toxic positivity contributes significantly to this distress. When people are pressured to be someone they aren’t and are not allowed to bring their true, authentic selves to work, they risk negative emotional health effects.
Low wellbeing can lead to absenteeism, errors and delays. Toxic Positivity can also isolate workers who may not be feeling great and assume they must be the only unhappy ones so they withdraw and work performance can be impacted.
What Can Managers Do to Avoid Toxic Positivity
To create a genuinely happy workplace and avoid toxic positivity, managers need to be more skilled with emotions. Emotions are a natural part of how people work, but according to the Workplace Vitality study, most managers struggle with this aspect of their work. The skills for this kind of people-leadership are called “emotional intelligence,” which means accurately reading and using emotions. In other words: Being smarter with feelings.
The first step in using emotional intelligence in the workplace is for managers to reframe their understanding about emotions. Managers might make the mistake of judging some feelings as “negative,” which leads to ignoring those feelings or being uncomfortable having the conversation. Instead, managers should consider that all feelings are there for a reason. Treat emotions as data that helps us understand how people are perceiving a situation.
Feelings such as anger, impatience, sadness, overwhelm are all appropriate responses to challenging situations. Managers will find it easier to handle these feelings when they learn more about the specific meanings of each emotion, using a tool such as The Emotion Wheel.
Understanding emotions as valuable data enables leaders to design systems and practices that prioritize employee well-being and foster performance. To help eliminate toxic positivity from the workplace, managers can begin by normalizing discussions about real emotions and fostering authenticity and openness. When leaders lead by example, sharing their own feelings authentically they create space for others to do the same.
How Emotional Intelligence Builds Better Performance
Avoiding toxic positivity is just one of the many workplace benefits of increasing emotional intelligence (abbreviated EI or EQ for ‘emotional quotient’). Research on the business case for emotional intelligence shows that when managers have higher EQ, they build stronger teams, improve motivation, solve problems more effectively, and increase productivity.
In one study of emotional intelligence in the workplace at Amadori, a major supplier to McDonalds in Europe, manager EQ was correlated with higher workplace performance scores, and higher employee engagement. In fact, comparing three different plants, 78% of the variation in employee engagement was predicted by manager EQ.
In the landmark case study of emotional intelligence at FedEx, 72% of the managers became significantly better at decision making. In addition, 58% became stronger at influence. As a bonus, 60% of the managers improved their quality of life.
While the data on the benefits of emotional intelligence is compelling, the bad news is that in most sectors, EQ scores have declined since 2019. This change has a negative effect in workplaces, for example, it’s likely to make burnout worse. This makes it even more important for managers to hone their EQ skills.
Action Steps for Managers to Use Emotions Effectively
What is a better way for managers to help employees manage stress and avoid toxic positivity? Here’s three tips to help have better conversations about emotions in the workplace.
BE REALISTIC
Not everything is great all the time. Accept hardships AND look for solutions to get through them (rather than denying that bad things happen). We know that all emotions are valid messages – sometimes challenging emotions are signals you need to pay attention to. It’s not optimism to focus only on “happy thoughts.” Be realistic about hard days. Make a plan for yourself to connect with your friends and family for support, take time outdoors, take a break from social media, or make some art. These ideas can help give you a reset when you need to get a realistic frame of reference when you are in challenging times.
LISTEN WITH EMPATHY
Start by really caring about what the other person has to say. Empathic leaders build trust and respect with their employees. They are open and invite people to share their emotions (including the uncomfortable feelings). Resist the temptation to try to “fix” the situation for the other person. That’s not your responsibility and may lead you to feeling burned out. Instead, thank the person for sharing and let them know that they can count on your support if they need it.
MAKE SPACE FOR EMOTIONS
When managers make space and time for people to talk about their struggles, they are able to create context for supportive teams and establish more honest communication. Both of these elements build trust — essential for engaged employees. Set aside time for checking in at the end of meeting how the person is doing. This quiet, private check is very different from a casual ‘how are you doing” in the hallway. Sharing feelings can be challenging for people at first so don’t give up if the first attempt is not a big success. Try again to see more results.
Build a better workplace with emotions
Fostering a culture that values authenticity and acknowledges the full range of human emotions, organizations can create safer, healthier, and more productive environments for their employees. Integrating emotional intelligence into organizational practices facilitates this process, ultimately leading to healthier and more resilient workplaces.
According to the business case for emotional intelligence, the first step is for leaders to go first. That means creating clarity that emotions are a valuable part of leadership. By avoiding toxic positivity, managers can learn to engage with all emotions as a source of important data. Growing skills with emotions, managers will do a better job of engaging and leading people, which results in workplaces with higher retention, better collaboration, and ultimately, better results.
About the Author: Joshua Freedman, CEO & cofounder of 6seconds.org (the global emotional intelligence community), is a world leading expert on the value of emotions. He’s a bestselling author, master certified coach, and instructor for Columbia University & Antioch University. In addition to partnering with Fortune 500s (see 6seconds.org/business), this work spans all areas of society, including pioneering how emotions are an untapped resource for solving the climate crisis (see 6seconds.org/climate).